I've been trying to sort out the desires of my heart.
I was raised to believe that God hears them.
I've reached a time where I question if there is even a God out there to listen.
I've tried turning it off.
I've tried focusing on the benefits of not having my desires met.
I've tried "coming to terms" with it not happening.
And here I am.
If I indulge in the briefest thought of this happening I'm overwhelmed with by a feeling of love, of joy, of rightness.
I come back to reality, slightly worse for wear.
My heart is just a little broken.
I'm a little scared.
I'm doing what I can to not attach myself to any end result.
Take a deep breath.
And maybe put trust in something you're not sure even exists.
I have found that if I am focused only on my desires to the detriment of other things it just doesn't happen. I am out of balance. When I finally surrendered it to God's timing, that is when things started to happen. I wrote everything that I desired down and sealed it in an envelope and put it away. I gave it to God. It gave me a sense of peace just letting it go and focusing on what I have now. FYI I have almost everything on that list now!
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